In the Name of God:  Father, Son, and Holy Spirit.  Amen.

So . . . what gets in the way of your faith?  What blocks you from fully believing in the Good News of Jesus Christ?  Don’t be shy . . . think about it.  And don’t be offended by the question . . . we ALL have something that blocks us from fully taking on and living into our faith in Christ.  If we didn’t have something holding us back, we – and the world – would all be a teensy bit more transformed than we are.  We just need to be honest about our difficulty.  That’s the first step in getting past it.

I imagine that you’ve all heard or read something lately about the current sex scandals rocking the Roman Catholic Church.  I find that there are so many horrible, sordid stories being told now that I can’t keep track of them all. . . don’t worry, I’m not going to try to sort out the mess now . . . nor am I going to moralize about this dreadful situation.  But I am going to make two observations.

First, I’ve noticed that, on the one hand, defenders of the church often seem to talk about protecting the faith, and on the other hand, some of the victims of sex abuse and others talk about losing their faith.  In both cases I usually find myself asking, “Faith in WHAT?”  Because in both cases it sounds to me that people are talking about faith in the institution of the Church.  And the institution of the Church, being a human construction, is inevitably going to be imperfect . . . as we humans are imperfect . . . so that placing too much faith in the INSTITUTION is inevitably going to lead to heartache.

From my own upbringing I know how intricately interwoven one’s understanding of God can be with one’s knowledge and experience of the Church.  Church and God can seem to be one.  An extremely important passage in my growing up came when, as a teenager, I began to lose faith in the Church . . . and yet managed NOT to lose my faith in God.  I was very lucky in this . . . I believe, in fact, that this was the Holy Spirit at work.  But to some degree I expect that each and every one of us would benefit from reminding ourselves that God and the institution of the Church are NOT the same thing.

Not so long ago, one particular wag said to me that he believed that the survival of the Christian Church, in all of its various flowerings, was in itself proof of the existence of God.  Because, he said, we humans so consistently make a mess of everything that the Church could ONLY have survived this long by the work of the Holy Spirit.

The other observation I have to make about what I’ve heard and read about the current troubles in the Roman Catholic Church, is that Truth is very powerful and potent, and so it is also both liberating and terrifying.  We can see this in both the release that some victims experience in finally telling their secrets, and in the contortions that some in the Church put themselves through trying to keep secrets hidden.  In all of this mess, there appears to be a very strong movement toward uncovering and telling the Truth, whatever it may be, which I also believe is a movement of the Holy Spirit.

Because a REAL spiritual life consists of living in REALITY . . . unclouded by wishful thinking, or regret . . . but living with and in what IS.

Now, you may be asking yourselves, “What’s all this got to do with today’s readings.  What’s all this got to do with ‘doubting Thomas’?”  Well, among other things, Thomas is a truth-teller.  And, most importantly, he’s a truth-teller about HIMSELF.  He’s willing to confess his weakness . . . to confess what’s blocking his faith . . . to confess his woundedness.  That’s what I hear in today’s Gospel text.  But before we look at the story of Thomas we heard this morning, let’s first remember Thomas’ earlier appearances in the Gospel of John.  I think they’ll help us understand a little better what I’m getting at in today’s story.

Before Jesus makes his final journey to Jerusalem, he is determined to return to Bethany – to the home of Mary, and Martha, and Lazarus.  This is a dangerous journey because it takes him deep into the realm ruled by people who want to kill him.  All of Jesus’ friends know this and they try to talk him out of making the trip.  Jesus, however, will not change his mind and it’s Thomas who finally says, “Let us go with him and die with him.”  This story shows us that Thomas is both loyal and brave.

Later, when Jesus is going on and on in his long speech at the last supper with his disciples, explaining in his complicated way that he will be leaving them . . . but not leaving them . . . he finally says, “Do not be afraid, for you know the way I am going.”  It’s Thomas who speaks up – probably for all the disciples – and says, ‘We do not know where you are going.  How can we know the way?”  Undoubtedly, he’s ready to follow Jesus, even if it means his own death . . . remember, he’s loyal and brave.  But Thomas needs some clarity about how to do this.  And this story shows a Thomas willing to express truthfully his lack of understanding.

This brings us to today’s story.  The risen Christ appears to his disciples in a locked room.  That is, he appears to everyone but Thomas, who’s not there.  We don’t know why Thomas isn’t there or where he is, but in years past I’ve shared with you my own theory about this . . . I suspect that Thomas is out looking for Jesus.  That would fit with the personality we’ve seen outlined in the two other stories about him I just mentioned.  And if that’s that case, it would add a certain poignancy to today’s story: the one disciple out looking for Jesus is the one who misses seeing him.

When the appearance is reported to Thomas, he says, “Unless I see Jesus myself I will not believe.”  I don’t think the loyal, brave, truth-telling Thomas is especially angry . . . or especially skeptical.  I think he’s making a confession.  When Thomas says, ‘Unless I see and touch the mark of the nails, and put my hand in his side, I will not believe,” he is simply telling the truth . . . the truth about HIMSELF.  He is confessing his weakness.  He is confessing what is blocking his faith.

You might say that Thomas is exposing his own wounds by exposing his literal-mindedness . . . by exposing his inability to believe without concrete proof.  He is telling the truth . . . confessing the truth . . . about himself.  And having done so, Jesus meets him where he needs to be met . . . and offers Thomas what he needs to receive to heal his unbelief.  Jesus will do the same for us.

Perhaps my very brief discussion of the current scandal in the Roman Catholic Church a few minutes ago touched a chord in you . . . perhaps not.  But please don’t let that illustration distract you from my point.  We are wounded.  Every single one of us.  I happen to feel that one of the most significant ways we are wounded is in our difficulty in facing Truth, with a capital T, about ourselves and about God . . . perhaps you differ from me.  But don’t let that difference stop you from considering where you ARE wounded . . . from considering what it is that blocks your faith.  Tell the TRUTH about yourself to yourself . . . and confess what you need to Jesus.

Show your wounds to Jesus and he will heal them with his own wounds.

If we have trouble looking at our own failings . . . at our own woundedness . . . we will also have trouble looking at Jesus’ wounds . . . we will probably even have trouble recognizing him.  No, I don’t expect that Jesus will come to us in a locked room and give himself to be touched as he did with Thomas.  But the wounds of Christ are visible and available to us, nevertheless.  They are all around us.  The world is filled with them.  It’s still possible to put our fingers on the marks of the nails and our hands into Jesus’ side.

Jesus’ wounds can be seen in Iraq and Afghanistan . . . in the Holy Land.  Jesus’ wounds can be touched in the poor in South America and the starving in Africa.  Jesus’ wounds can be seen and touched wherever there is suffering and pain . . . in the north end of Hartford . . . right here in Parkville . . . in the pew next to you.  But first, it seems, we must look into our own hearts . . . our own psyches . . . and discover the things that are blocking our faith . . . discover our own wounds.  We must recognize them and name them and tell the truth about them . . . at least to ourselves.  And then we must confess them to Christ.

Christ will come to us and meet us as we need to be met.  And, confessing the truth about ourselves, we will then be able to join Thomas in greeting Jesus:  “My Lord and my God!”  John's Gospel tells us at the end of today’s story that Jesus did many other signs that are not written in this book, but that these are written so that we may believe.  Jesus is with us today doing signs and wonders, breaking into fearful hiding places and breaking out of prisons and out of lies . . . confronting us with his wounds, his truth, and his love.  Confess your truth.  Meet the risen Lord . . . and LIVE!

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